Anti Narcissistic Update

Hello everyone! I just realized that daily updates about my life probably seems a bit narcissistic so I will be cutting out the daily updates and will consistently post on Saturday with you how to random and will only put up updates during the week when I have a really good quick one!

Thank you for dealing with my silly updates and have a great day

Stay Random Randomeers!

If anyone is deeply oppose to this please let me know and I might try and work things out for you!

6/21/2011

Soooooooo tired. I had a reallly long day yesterday filled with magic shows,flirting with girls and walking all over the place.

Got work tonight at TGIF in Brea tonight if your in the area come on by!

Random Fact: Coca-Cola was originally green.

Have a great day Randomeers! Wish me luck on yet another long crazy day!

Monday 6/20/11

Hello Randomeers! Sorry for the lack of post on Sunday but it was Father's day so my Father comes first!

Today I am going to do some psychological surveys to the public for magic tricks.

I am gonna hang out with some friends from college.

Finally I am going to work on a new magic trick!

P.S. If you know or are a single girl who looks like any of these people.

Please tell them there is an awesome magician just waiting for them to friend me on facebook so that we can go on a awesome adventure! We will go whale watching at balboa and eat a fine dinner on top of a mountain and I will take you home and leave you with the great memories we had that is until we meet again!

Random Fact: Less than four percent of the world population has naturally red hair.

Until next time Randomeers! Stay Random and find me a pretty redhead!

Saturday 6/18/11 Epic Post!!!!

How to be a psychological pickpocket! (ZOMG ONE OF TYLER'S SIGNATURE TRICKS!?!?!)

Alright imagine for a moment that I told you that you could get your friend to empty his pockets give you all his stuff and forget that he did it? Would you be stoked? maybe even a little skeptical? GET OUT NONBELIEVER!!!! No I'm joking but I am going to teach you how to do it!

Disclaimer: Do not under any circumstances use this to steal stuff from people. That is messed up also it has a clear possibility for failure which would result in you getting your teeth knocked in. So don't be an idiot and just use this for pranks with your friend.

(Before any of that to answer your question from yesterday, yes I did stick a girls hand to the table!)

You will need a friend and a deck of cards.

Step One

Approach your friend and tell him you are going to show him a magic trick.

Step Two

Ask if he has a wallet/cellphone (whichever you desire to take) take out two playing cards hand him one card in exchange for his item and act like you are measuring it with the card. Say "hmm maybe..." and place the item in your pocket.

Step three

tell him to clip both cards in his hand and hold the tightly and that you will make them switch places.

Step four

Start banging his hands together,not to hard, but firmly. ask for a number between one and ten. and shake his hands that many times.

Step five

Say look they changed. He will look confused as they have not changed at this exact moment say "oh sorry forget about it now, let me show you another trick." (you must use those exact words at the moment of confusion.)

Step Six

Proceed to show him another trick with cards which you could find in some of my early blog entries.

Step Seven

Wait for him to be amazed by trick ask if he liked it and walk away with his item. unbenounced to you, I just made you make use of very advanced hypnotic techniques that if done exactly as described here will work almost all the time! Your victim will forget his object and go along his merry way he might remember after 10 mins though when the hypnotic amnesia wears off.

Thats all for today randomeers! Go out there and fool your friends and remember stay random!

Friday 6/16/2011

I am going to be doing my usual show at TGIF's my goal is to use hypnosis to stick at least one girls hand to the table by the end of night! I let you know how that goes on Saturday.

Here is an extra special treat for my followers who don't just read the Saturday post!

Tyler's Quick Guide To A Confusion Induction! (ZOMG REALLY?!?!) =O

For the sake of brevity and sanity I will leave out the psychological mumbo jumbo and just tell you what to do!

Step One

Find a friend. If you don't have one then may I suggest looking at this diagram produced by the great mind of our time Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Step Two

Get you friend on a pattern of thought for example talking to them about a new movie or video game!

Step Three

In the response to a comment from your friend about said video game,using the same tone as you did in the previous statement about said video games, say "you know my wall at home isn't three feet high?

Step Four

You have just created a huge amount of confusion in your friends brain now comes the fun part tell him to do something or suggest a new topic in an athoritative tone like "Take out the trash" or "buy a pizza" or "have you been to the zoo lately?" he will respond to simple commands about 75% of the time and switch topic at least 85%

Step Five

Feel like a boss because you just did a real life jedi mind trick awww snap!

Thats my present to my dedicated readers thank you for being random in life but consistent in reading! Until next time stay random randomeers!

Thursday Update!

First day at a new restaurant if things go well I am hoping to land a permanent gig!

Last day of school in our school district so let the magic show madness begin.

Still reading pure effect its awesome!

Random Fact of the Day: Everyday more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Alright Randomeers! Go out there and start a Monopoly and remember always buy the orange and red square first they are the most likely landed on squares. Until next time stay Random!

Wednesday Report

Early morning magic show. Bleh.

Little kids at said show. Bleh, Bleh.

Not enough time for caffeine to kick in. Bleh,Bleh,BLEH!!!!

Random Fact (Courtesy of Amazing Fact Generator at Mental Floss because I am to Tired)

The Chinese used black pepper to cure cholera, Europeans used it as currency, and Attila the Hun demanded 3,000 pounds of the stuff in exchange for discontinuing his sacking of Rome.

Well I guess I am getting paid to do what I love even if it is not Ideal circumstances wish me luck have a great day randomeers!

Tuesday

I am working at TGIF tonight!

I am doing a show for my brothers school party

I am Trying out some new presentation from Pure Effect!

All and all Its a pretty magical day sorry for the short post but I have a show to prepare for!

Random Fact: President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

Until tomorrow stay random Randomeers!

Monday blues Fear Not HowtoRandom is here!

Hello Randomeers I know monday isn't the best of days for alot of you but we are gonna fix that!

Follow this guide and you Monday will be sparkly happy and good!

Take a deep breath in and relax. Breath out. Think of a color that represents happiness and peace. Do you have it? Goooood. Focus on the color. Close your eyes and see that color. Imagine it slowly engulfing your whole head then neck and moving through your entire body to your feet. Start that process now. Are you back? Good next while still holding that color in your mind look at this picture.

(gaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwh)

Imagine yourself still glowing that color as you look at the picture. Relax. Smile just as the baby of happiness smiles.

Finally I leave you with this image to remember when the dark color of Monday tries to creep back. Remembering this image glowing your color will bring you back to that happy peaceful self you desire just like the baby above.

This gentlemanly fluffball will always defend you from sadness and blues of the Monday. just imagine him surrounded in your peaceful color and all will be good.

That is my gift to you this fine day. Go out there and be happy and confident in yourself tell tomorrow randomeers!

It's Suuuuuunday Umm wait I don't know what I am Gonna do On Sunday!

Let's see well its Sunday yeeeeeeeeey!!!!!!! Fhew ok well when you don't know what to do over enthusiasm always helps to stall. I know lets go with an awesome scripture from the bible you can't really top quoting the all time best seller in the world right?

James 2:18,19- But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that-and shudder.

Dang That's pretty intense. I think this could help a lot of supposed "Christians" out. Many fake Christians go around spouting out there faith with there mouth and yelling for others to change when Jesus says for us to instead bring people to Christ through out actions and living a Christian life only then will they come. Score one for the Son of God!

ZOMG MEGA AWESOME RANDOM BLOG!!!!! =D

5 childhood heroes you could easily kill

with one readily available weapon

Oh superheroes they are just amazing are they not? Fighting crime, taking punches, dodging explosives and defeating overelaborate weapons! They tend to symbolize our secret hopes, fears and desires. Too bad 95% of them could be gunned down extremely easily by you. So now that you are a man or woman (we are not sexist here) (but boys are better) it’s time to rise above your childhood heroes and learn that you are more powerful than most of them.

Before we show the hit list of superhero fatalities I want to introduce you to your weapon of choice.

Take a moment to inhale the absolute beauty of this beast. This is the Barrett 50 Cal sniper rifle. The most powerful civilian legal gun in the U.S. To give you an idea of just how powerful this gun is a 9 mm handgun will put a decent quarter size hole in you. That is usually enough to drop just about every person on the planet. The Barrett here has the tendency to no make a hole at all. “What?” You say! A tiny handgun does more damage than this rifle? Well no… you see the Barrett doesn’t leave a hole because it literally tears its targets in freakin’ half!

(You before Barrett 50 Cal)

(You after Barrett 50 Cal)

Notice how there is a lot of red and no bottom and blood coming out of your eyes? That’s because the Barrett 50 Cal is a destroyer of worlds! Oh and did we mention it has a kill range of three and half miles yah little detail we forgot to add.

Ok now that we have established how awesome the Barrett is (but don’t think that will shut us up about it) let’s move on to the hit list for today.

First let’s start with an extremely beloved superhero and obvious target for destruction…

#1 Batman

Look at Batman so valiantly taking a step so determined, so focused so… easily killed by the Barrett.

While batman is strong, smart and more than capable of taking the handguns and even machine guns his enemies have with his cutting edge, bullet stopping awesome body armor he is no match for the 50 Cal. The problem is no body armor no matter how cutting edge would ever stop a Barrett. “Lies!” the Batman fan base cries out. For those of you who have cried out I give you this photo.

That my friend is tank armor about one and half feet of steel and other undisclosed bullet proof material. See how there is a gaping hole in it that is all thanks to the Barrett 50 cal.

So even if batman was wearing a tank suit he would be utterly destroyed by the Barrett let alone his silly cutting edge rubbery head. The Barrett’s bullet would go through Batman’s armor like and obese man goes through a box of Twinkies.

Batman vs. Barrett 50 Cal = Dead squishy guy with multiple personality disorder oh and those arguing that his armor would save his life but still severely injure him I refer you to the cutting a person in half fact at the top.

#2 The Flash

“Waaait wait wait!!!! Surely you are not going to argue that a gun can kill The Flash a being that moves faster than the speed of light? That would be absurd!” Actually I am going to argue that The Flash, a being who can move faster than the speed of light, can be killed by a gun easily. You see while The Flash is fast he is not always fast. He is not constantly running around and stuff. The Flash does have the tendency to stop and socialize with his friends and colleges and telly tubby collection etc. Well unbenounced to most of you the bullet the Barrett fires actually moves really freakin’ fast. Like road runner high on a mixture of PCP and meth fast. The 50 Cal bullets are flying about 3 times the speed of sound. So while The Flash is extremely fast he would not be able to react because the bullet would have killed him before anyone even heard the sound. That’s right chock that up on the awesomeness of the Barrett it kills things before you hear it! Who needs a silencer when you can’t even the hear the darn thing until it’s too late.

The Flash V.S. Barrett= Exploding Flash head!

#3 Superman

Ok now I know most of you would be happy if I could come up with a way to kill Superman but really how could I? He’s Superman after all. Most of us would give anything to blow away that stupid blank expression on mister goody two shoes but he just won’t freakin’ die! Luckily murdering the happy go lucky dork is easier than you would think. You see there is actually this cool process you can do to bullets it’s called adding a tip. They have tracer round tips that let you see where you are aiming, they have armor piercing round tips and you could have, you guessed it, a kryptonite tipped bullet! “Wait a minute there! Kryptonite is a fake element how will we get that?” Well first off if you were in the superman world it would exist but that won’t be my argument instead I will shove your argument up your superman loving nostrils. Kryptonite is real!

(Check out the nerd fest here http://blog.tmcnet.com/blog/tom-keating/news/real-kryptonite-discovered.asp)

So As you should know Superman turns into your regular old average Joe when he is in proximity with Kryptonite so we have a Kryptonite tipped bullet flying through the air faster than the speed of sound so Superman cannot hear it and react to the oncoming green banana of death it would then place the Kryptonite in the back of his stupid head along with a the huge chunk of lead. For those of you wondering what that would look like keep in mind that a watermelon is a pretty accurate representation of a person’s head and watch this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tTAYFSnRW4

Pretty sweet huh? (p.s. ignore the freak eating watermelon in the video)

#4 Green Lanterns

Ok I felt bad about this one considering he doesn’t even have a movie yet but a superhero is a superhero and Green Lantern is considered pretty overpowered. Not to mention his movie is coming out soon. The green Lantern lacks one key ability that makes him vulnerable to our Barrett he cannot see the future. Just in case you were wondering the only power that would beat your Barrett would be psychic powers with the ability to predict the future, invulnerability and immortality. So unfortunately the green lantern lacks all these powers therefore his head would go the way of the watermelon lets watch that again just for fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tTAYFSnRW4

#5 Wolverine

Now as you may have noticed I have a thing for figuring out how to kill superheroes. Wolverine has always been my favorite thought puzzle because he is just so hard to kill the little punk just won’t stay dead. So this is the farthest stretch we will take in this article. First we will assume you are in the x men universe and have access to adamantium 50 Cal Bullets. You see a weird thing happens when a really hard object goes through another really hard object that is air tight. For a real world example let’s look at the anti-tank round. An anti-tank round is actually very small. A tank can take a lot of explosion and bullets and basically anything that isn’t harder then it. The anti-tank round gets around this problem by creating something much harder that move extremely fast remind you of anything? *cough*Barrett*cough* the anti-tank round shoots a pencil sized piece of uranium, the most dense substance on the planet, with enough propellant to launch the west side of Missouri into space. This pencil of death pokes a tiny hole in the tank but because it is moving so fast it causes what is known as “extreme pressure change” that translates into every thing that ever moved in the tank goes kablooey! That’s right it turns the air into its own bomb! Pretty sick huh? Well that’s all fine and dandy for tank killing but back to our problem at hand. The Barrett armed with adamantium 50 Cal bullets would be flying really fast as mentioned before and wolverines head is a really hard air tight object so we would have our good ol’ friend the “extreme pressure change” going on in wolverines head. Now even this isn’t enough to kill the dork because being the steroid induced freak that he is having no brain isn’t that high of a priority. So to finish the problem up you could just inject him with adamantium ala X men 2 style and then throw him into the deepest part of the ocean problem solved.

Well there is 5 of the more overpowered and considered invincible superheroes taken down by you with a Barrett 50 Cal. As you can probably tell most superheroes are easily killed by the Barrett and feel free to add your own to the list enjoy overcoming your childhood heroes and becoming way cooler in the process. Maybe this article will create a new villain called Barrett Man who just goes through each comic universe and blows away heroes if this happens I want royalties and the hero must have a striking resemblance to me!

That's it for today's epic how to random check in daily for updates and every saturday for more howto randoms until next time stay random randomeers!

Friday update!!!!!

I am going to be working at TGIF's in Brea If your in the Area come and check it out!

I Just read lesson 4 of Tarbell's course on magic and I must say that so far Tarbell is absolutely amazing! If you want to be a magician save up your cash and by this book!

If you go to TGIF and see me between 6:30-9:30pm the code phrase is "How's Tarbell Going?" and I will perform my latest trick from Tarbell.

Follow me on twitter and facebook for up to the minute information on How to Random!

Daily Randomeer Fact: A turtle is capable of breathing through it's butt!

Hello Randomeers!!!!

I am back from my long travels through the alpine mountains and zen kungfu training of china(read trying really hard to pass all my classes for the year in college) and would like to inform you of some great news! I am going to actually have a legit schedule for my blog! "What impossible?!?!" "It can't be!" Oh but it is my randomeers I my schedule will be an adaptive process but we are gonna start with this.

Mon-Fri

Quick updates about my day to day life. Plans for the day, books I am reading, movies I will watch, delicious breakfast.

Saturday!!!!!! =D

This will be a full blown awesome howto random article that you all know and love so much!

Sunday

I dunno yet guys it is Sunday after all um awesome scripture from the bible perhaps?

And don't forget to follow me if your are loving the blog so that you can have updates whenever you have your howtorandom craving that needs to be satisfied.

How to Make a Website for under 15 dollars!

Do you know one sure fire way to make your business look more professional? I sure do start a website! Put it on your business card and upload videos it really shows your committed to your business. Now I can hear you from here all yelling out "but Tyyyyyler making websites is hard and expensive!" well fear not my fellow randomers! For I have tread down the dark path of scamtastic sites and created many a fake username to provide you with the information on how to make a full website for under 15 bucks a year!

Well with out further ado I provide you with the secrets!

First off let me make you happy by seeing what the product of your labor will look like with my two websites http://www.tylersassmagic.com/ http://www.enertea.info/ pretty snazzy huh? alright so let us move on to the step by step instructions.

Step One

Go to http://www.domainsinseconds.com

Here you will search for your desired domain name! If its available purchase your site for as little as 10 a year! Its really that simple!

Want to hear some reaaaallly good news? Buying the domain is the only thing you will spend money on for this how to random! Yeeeey!!!!!!

(thats you being all boss like)

All right now that we got that part done with lets move on to step two!

Step Two

Here is the coolest website on the entire planet ever excluding howto random of course. weebly.com at weebly.com you can make your own website layout free! go there make an account and make your website for free.

Step Three

Finally all you have to do is point your domain from domain at seconds at your weebly.com site and walla your done! To learn how to do that just follow weebly's built in instructions or call domain in seconds and they will walk you through it over the phone.

Thats it you now know the secret to making a cheap effective website that will make you look professional and establish your online presence.

Well that is all for today's how to random if you liked this article share it with your friends and as always friend me on facebook by clicking here! Also follow me on twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/howtorandom until next week stay random randomers!